ARE YOU A BULLY?
BULLYING is about your behaviour - what you do, say and how you act towards and treat others. Therefore being a bully, for whatever reason, means that you CAN stop and you CAN change.
But only YOU can change your behaviour, which means you have to take a good look at yourself so you can understand why you are behaving the way you are.
But only YOU can change your behaviour, which means you have to take a good look at yourself so you can understand why you are behaving the way you are.
First of all you need to accept that your behaviour IS affecting others and realise that it is NEVER okay to hurt another person (or animal). If someone has hurt, or upset, you then you need to talk to them and tell them how it made you feel, so they can understand what they have done. Bullying them won't solve anything, other than keeping the bitterness inside of you, making you feel horrible, whilst you make the other person feel miserable too.
WE ARE ALL THE SAME - WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS. WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK AT A PERSON?
DO YOU SEE SKIN COLOUR?
DO YOU NOTICE IF THE PERSON HAS A DISABILITY?
DO YOU THINK THEY LOOK "DIFFERENT"?
DO YOU SEE THE PERSON AS FAT/THIN?
DO YOU ASSOCIATE THAT PERSON WITH THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?
OR
DO YOU SEE THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE?
DO YOU TALK TO THEM, REGARDLESS OF AGE, SEX, COLOUR, RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, SIZE?
DO YOU NOT EVEN NOTICE IF THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT COLOUR OF SKIN/BODY SHAPE/RELIGION/DISABILITY?
EVERYONE deserves to be respected for who they are. Sure, there are people who do unkind and bad things and you would be right to not want to be in their company.
BUT for those people who do not hurt or harm others, why do they deserve to be bullied and treated unkind just because YOU think THEY look different to you? Just because their skin is a different colour to yours? Or because they may be fatter or thinner than you? Or because they may not be able to walk? Or talk?
There are so many reasons why people bully and physical appearance is just one of them. NO bullying is ever justified or okay. Ask yourself why you want someone to feel bad about themselves? Is it because you feel so bad about yourself that it makes YOU feel better?
Would YOU want to be treated the way you treat others? If not, then treat them the way you would like to be treated. With kindness and understanding. If you cannot say anything nice to a person, then why say anything at all?
DO YOU SEE SKIN COLOUR?
DO YOU NOTICE IF THE PERSON HAS A DISABILITY?
DO YOU THINK THEY LOOK "DIFFERENT"?
DO YOU SEE THE PERSON AS FAT/THIN?
DO YOU ASSOCIATE THAT PERSON WITH THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?
OR
DO YOU SEE THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE?
DO YOU TALK TO THEM, REGARDLESS OF AGE, SEX, COLOUR, RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, SIZE?
DO YOU NOT EVEN NOTICE IF THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT COLOUR OF SKIN/BODY SHAPE/RELIGION/DISABILITY?
EVERYONE deserves to be respected for who they are. Sure, there are people who do unkind and bad things and you would be right to not want to be in their company.
BUT for those people who do not hurt or harm others, why do they deserve to be bullied and treated unkind just because YOU think THEY look different to you? Just because their skin is a different colour to yours? Or because they may be fatter or thinner than you? Or because they may not be able to walk? Or talk?
There are so many reasons why people bully and physical appearance is just one of them. NO bullying is ever justified or okay. Ask yourself why you want someone to feel bad about themselves? Is it because you feel so bad about yourself that it makes YOU feel better?
Would YOU want to be treated the way you treat others? If not, then treat them the way you would like to be treated. With kindness and understanding. If you cannot say anything nice to a person, then why say anything at all?
ASK YOURSELF IF YOU DO/HAVE EVER DONE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
Send a text/email/social media message/voicemail just to make someone feel bad about themselves?
Start rumours about someone?
Say something to get a reaction?
Call somebody an unkind name?
Talk about that person to other people in the hope that they think bad of them too?
Take pleasure from seeing someone else upset?
Wait until nobody is around to be horrible to another?
Blame others for your own wrongdoing?
Physically hurt another?
Call someone names?
Try to control another person or their belongings/money?
Want to know everything about a friend/partner, such as where they are going, where they have been, who they spoke to?
If you have answered yes to any of the above, then its time to seek some help.
WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?
The good news is you CAN do something about it.
You have made the first major step towards change, and that is admitting to yourself that you have a problem.
Talk to someone - be honest in how you feel and tell them that you realise that you need help.
You could go to your GP/Teacher/Employer/friend/family member - anybody you trust. Your GP can refer you onto a counsellor for help.
Think about a time when someone made you feel bad - think about what that person could have done differently. Next time you are tempted to bully someone, remember those feelings and be determined not to be responsible for someone else feeling the same way.
The following helplines may be of benefit you:
DO YOU BULLY?
GET HELP FOR BULLYING
HOW TO STOP YOUR CHILD BULLYING
TEACHING KIDS NOT TO BULLY
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